I needed a belt. An advertisement for a new ratcheting type intrigued me. The one I ordered worked well – until, suddenly, it broke.
Later, travelling through Big Timber, I stopped at The Fort and bought a solid leather belt. Years later, it still serves me well.
“Dabaq” is translated as “hold fast” or “hold together.” The Bible uses “dabaq” to describe “belt” Jeremiah 13:11, and “marriage:” Genesis 2:24: “A man shall leave his father and his mother and ‘hold fast’ (‘dabaq’) to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
Marriage shows us the wonder of the Trinity modestly reduplicated.
But, when marriages fail, we wonder: Did the spouses not “leave” father/mother? Because of an attachment disorder, did they not “cleave” (‘dabaq’)? Did the “world, the flesh and the devil” break connectors?
Not surprisingly, Daniel 2:41,43 shows “a divided kingdom…they will mix with one another in marriage, but they will not ‘hold together’ (‘dabaq’), just as iron does not mix with clay.”
Attempted fusions of iron and clay as well as husband and wife can fail to hold together. Eventually, trusted counselors may rightly advise a partner to leave an unrepentant, dangerous spouse.
Even without such danger, hear Jeff and Sarah Walton: “We didn’t expect life to be perfect, of course. We assumed our marriage would be filled with more of ‘better’ than ‘worse.’ With big dreams for the future, we took our vows sixteen years ago. Little did we know those years would bring chronic illness, financial loss, job loss, special needs, suffering children, overwhelming stress and marital strain that accompanies each” (“Through the Storms Together”).
Frankly, we need help
If we rely on natural attraction to sustain our relationships, we find we need more. We need a supernatural power uniting us, a power that continues working even when we feel we are failing.
Failing, retreating – we may continue with our innate abilities, occasionally scoring intimacy points. But, our old natures, satisfied to limp along superficially, stay “connected” only habitually. Instead of being “connected,” we are mostly stuck. Made in the image of the Triune God, we long for more.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 teaches us: “Though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
Proverbs 18:24 tells us there is a “friend who ‘sticks closer’ (‘dabaq’) than a brother.”
Finding the Third Strand/Friend
Many find this deep support in Jesus. His confidante, John, describes him: John 13:1: “Having loved his own, he loved them to the end.” He, the Source, continues loving his own to the end, enfolding and energizing those he attracts to him.
He provides true “religion.” Today, many describe themselves as “spiritual” but not “religious.”
Instead, let’s reclaim “religious.” As “ligaments” firmly connect bone to bone, so in the gospel, Jesus steadfastly “re-ligaments” – re-connects and propels his people toward God and each other – in grace and truth.
Pursuing God before marriage
Once God has embraced us, eight times we find the Bible uses “dabaq” to describe our “holding fast” to God.
For example, David declares: Psalm 63:8: “My soul ‘follows hard after’ (‘dabaq’) you; your right hand upholds me.”
As a teen, on his way home from work at a tire company, A. W. Tozer (1897-1963), overheard a street preacher promise: “If you don’t know how to be saved, just call on God, saying, ‘Lord, be merciful to me a sinner.’” As Tozer went to bed, he prayed that prayer.
In 1948, after decades of God pursing him and him pursing God, Tozer wrote his classic, “The Pursuit of God.” “The impulse to pursue God originates with God, but the outworking of that impulse is our ‘following hard after Him.’ All the time we are pursuing Him, we are already in His hand: “Your right hand upholds me” (p 12).
Pursuing God in marriage
I love supporting couples planning their weddings. And what is the highpoint of the wedding ceremony? Although we all enjoy the wedding kiss, the holiest moment comes when they seal their vows with: “This ring I give you in token and in pledge of our constant faith and abiding love, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
Who gives them authority to use God’s holy name in their vows?
God. “Fear the LORD your God and serve him. ‘Hold fast’ (‘dabaq’) to him and take your oaths in his name” (Dt. 10:20). Remarkable! Couples, God is willing to sign the bottom line of your marriage covenant, becoming your desperately needed marriage partner! His “belt”/“cord” connecting you is the “best leather.”
How did the Waltons stay united despite overwhelming challenges? They depended on their Partner. As they prayed and as God answered their prayers, he held them fast so they could be steadfast with him and each other.
“God held us up and enabled us not only to survive, but to see the good gifts he had given us along the way. Somehow, God has helped us press on. He has held our marriage together when we haven’t had the strength to fight for it ourselves. By his grace, he continues to hold us up each and every day, despite many of our circumstances remaining the same” (“Through the Storms”).
Grace begetting faithfulness
So, let’s ask God for his ‘dabaq.’
Then, friend, ponder Ruth “clinging” (‘dabaq’) to her mother-in-law, Naomi, when her sister-in-law, Orpah, kissed Naomi and split (Ruth 1).
Ponder Israelites deserting David to follow another leader. But the men of Judah “remained steadfast/clung” (‘dabaq’) to their king” (2 Sam. 23:10).
John wrote (6:66ff): “Many of (Jesus’) disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. Jesus asked the twelve, ‘Do you want to go away as well?’ Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.’”
God, continue giving us your mercifully stubborn faithfulness – especially in marriage.
