I write when Father’s Day is Sundays away. Still, I invite you to join me in reflecting about fathers by remembering my Dad with me. Perhaps you will think about your Father – and this marvel too – Jesus taught us to call God, “Father.”
Each week at Kiwanis, I join fellow Kiwanians and sing a patriotic song that includes the words: …“land where my fathers died.” December 8, 2012 – Pearl Harbor Day + one – my Dad died.
My sad duty and grand privilege was to speak at Dad’s funeral. I told about a shy boy from an isolated homestead in the plains of Colorado who traveled the world and left his imprint – through his career, his service, and 53 family members who called this only child “Dad” and “Pop Pop.” And I told about recent discoveries of Dad’s influence. In preparing for his funeral, I found a Father’s Day card among his war memorabilia. Twenty-five of his sailors had signed it to their “Dad” – the Lt. J.G., “Happy” Bostrom. We never knew Dad had that nickname.
We did know Dad loved Scripture – he read through the Bible at least once a year for decades – sometimes three times a year. One Scripture he wanted me to read for his funeral was Jer 29:11: “I know the plans I have for you;’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you – to give you a hope and a future.”
So what were some of the good plans God had for Dad?
God wanted Dad to grow old. And he wanted Dad to know Jesus.
First, as we think about Dad aging, we find help from three provocative ideas of Paul Tournier (1898 – 1986) in “Learn to Grow Old.”
- Tournier: “You need a sense of history if you are to make sense of life. If you look only at the point where you are, you will see neither where you came from nor where you are going.”
Dad agreed. Dad was a grandson of Lars Magnus Bostrom. Lars emigrated from Sweden and homesteaded the ranch in eastern Colorado. Dad loved history; it was his major in college. Although Dad went to war in the Pacific, his heart was in Colorado. So he kept his watch on Mountain Standard Time. He wanted to remember when his folks were milking the cows – when they were eating.
Dad made history. Dad was on board the El Dorado – stationed just off the coast at Iwo Jima. Dad saw the Marines plant “Old Glory” on Mt Suribachi on February 23, 1945. Also on board was Joe Rosenthal, who took the legendary flag-raising photograph. Dad saw valor. He saw young men, severely wounded, who wanted to get back to Iwo Jima to help their buddies. But, they died on board ship.
After what he had seen, Dad came home and decided that he could not be a farmer/rancher. Dad had to do something else to bring some measure of peace to this world. Dad knew where he wanted to go, and, as he went, in his deft way, he inspired others – especially his children.
- Tournier: “One of the dimensions of your life is missing if you do not enter into relationship with all age groups, and especially with those who are nearing the end of their lives.”
Can we hear Tournier? Can we hear Scripture? “Honor your father and your mother.” Every young parent is grateful to have God’s support in the challenge of sinners raising sinners. So, as kids, we Bostrom children needed to honor Dad.
But, when Jesus teaches us to “Honor your father and mother,” he points out that this commandment particularly applies to adults – to those of us who have older parents. When are we to honor them? Age brings on weakness and failure. Our culture is embarrassed by people who use walkers; we are horrified by wrinkles and fearful of infirmity. So, let’s hear Jesus and swim against the flow. Let’s honor those who are older. Let’s elevate them to the rank that God has given them – Person.
- Tournier: “In the last extremity of old age, it is not the triumph of wisdom, but rather decline. One never knows what is going on below the surface in the life of a human being, behind the appearance.”
The last months and months of Dad’s life were months and months of decline. He was not accustomed to such diminishment. His Dad, Louis Bostrom, was over helping a neighbor rancher at 6:00 AM when Louis keeled over and died. He was 68. One Easter Sunday morning, Dad’s Grandfather, Lars, was reading the Easter story in his Bible when God called him home.
But not Dad. His life was not flicked off like a light switch but gradually dimmed. How sad to see Dad’s body – once capable of confidently sitting astride a galloping pony racing across the plains of Colorado – being confined to bed.
Can we get past the challenges that such confinement brings? Can we get past our fears of being in that place? Can we make room in our “busy” lives to go and be with one who is declining?
Let’s join Tournier and ask what is going on “below the surface?” Inside that husk of Dad’s body,
God was preparing a new body. I wondered if Dad’s ready willingness to apologize – his delight in simply hearing a friend’s voice – and his being sure to express his love before parting – were evidences of that preparation.
Can we learn from Dad?
One final thought – God’s good plans for Dad included more than having Dad grow old. He also planned for Dad to trust Jesus. When told of his imminent death, Dad invited others to celebrate with him. Why did Dad have this hope of heaven? Simply because of Jesus.
More than a year before he died, Dad said: “Steve, be sure to read Romans 8 at my funeral. That was the passage that connected me with God when I was a young man.”
Two days before Dad died, that morning, he was alert. I read Romans 8 to him again: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…What then shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all – how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?” Then, in the wisdom of his 91 years and 8 months, he looked at me and forcefully whispered: “Wow!”
One of the last trips Dad took was to Helena. Dad and I stood in the Cathedral’s side chapel – the one dedicated to Joseph. The sixth of six stained glass windows depicts Joseph in bed – either dead or dying – and Jesus standing beside him. What Scripture would you have chosen for this tender scene? The artist chose incomparable words from the Psalmist: “Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints” (Psalm 115:16). God numbered Dad’s days – God intended Dad to live until Pearl Harbor Day + one.
May all the days appointed to you and me be founded upon the “Wow” of an astonishment prompted by Jesus.
