During a pre-election interview, JD Vance commented: “Whether you vote for Donald Trump or Kamala Harris, don’t cast aside family members and lifelong friends–it’s not worth it.”
Rod Dreher remarks: “What instantly came to mind was my older friend, a literate, kind, educated woman I had been close to for forty years, who ended that friendship with a text message. Why? She had read a letter to the editor I wrote in 2021.
“Can you imagine? Forty years of friendship, gone because I did not dislike Trump with sufficient purity.”(10/25/24, ‘The Wonder In Bruegel’)
Jesus, what shall we say?
Your follower, Paul, wrote: “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” (Rom 12:18 – written 57-59 AD) Agreed.
Nevertheless, Paul struggled to “live peaceably” with Barnabas and John Mark.
Back up to 49 AD. Paul asked Barnabas to come on his second missionary journey. Barnabas wanted to bring cousin, John Mark, who previously deserted the apostles. (Acts 13:13) “There arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away.” (Act 15:39)
Paul later presumably reconciled with Barnabas (1 Corinthians 9:6, 53 AD, no more than 4 years later) and certainly with Mark (2 Timothy 4:11, 64 AD, no more than 15 years later).
Does reconciliation always materialize?
What about with families? People routinely/passionately declare: “Family’s everything!”
But, that’s like blustering: “Only the bottom line counts – business is everything!”
Friend, as beloved as other pursuits may be, only God is everything. “Dear children, keep yourselves from idols.” (1 John 5:21)
Hear Jesus in this greatly neglected passage: “Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather ‘division.’ From now on in one house there will be five ‘divided,’ three against two and two against three. They will be ‘divided,’ father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against her daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.” (Luke 12:51-53; Matthew 10:34,35)
Consequently, I asked a woman who worked for decades with a Christian conciliation group: “What place did Luke 12 play in your work?”
She replied: “It didn’t. We didn’t refer to that passage.”
Friend, let Jesus be Jesus. He may not always reconcile.
Recall Jesus’ repeated warning through his prophets: “They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace.” (see Jer. 6:14; 8:11, Ezek. 13:10,16). When wounds are deep, more than superficial treatment is needed. Godly repentance is crucial. (2 Corinthians 7:8-11) Proverbs 11:29 warns: “Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind.”
Friend, still, God can work even through our division – perhaps bringing repentance, forgiveness and restoration or growing his kingdom other ways.
But, how – given the severe words Jesus uses three times about family divisions? In our families we may experience being cancelled/estranged/separated/apart/not speaking/at odds/distanced/isolated.
Let’s ponder Scripture closely.
“Do you think that I have come to give peace on earth? No, I tell you, but rather ‘division.’” This compound word, “dia-merismos,” is used only once in the Bible.
Next: “For from now on in one house there will be five ‘divided,’” (‘dia-merizó’) “three against two and two against three. They will be ‘divided’” (‘dia-merizó’). Jesus brands three intimate relationships as now alienated. Sadly, clouded by suppressed or expressed animosity, some may be dismissive-avoidant, skilled in cultivating tangible division. Google “DARVO.”
Note: dia-merizó is used 12x in the NT. For instance, all four Gospel writers use it in referring to soldiers’ actions at the cross. John: “When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided (not our word, ‘divided;’ literally, ‘they made’) them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom, so they said to one another, ‘Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.’ This was to fulfill the Scripture” (Psalm 22:18) “which says, ‘They ‘divided’” (‘dia-merizó’) “’my garments among them, and for my clothing they cast lots.’” (John 19: 23, 24)
The soldiers divided Jesus’ clothing – but left his tunic whole. Is this a God-sized clue? In our divided relationships, could Triune God’s grace make some aspects remain whole?
Still, our research gives yet more hope.
Friend, hear Mark use the root word, ‘merizó’: “Taking the five loaves and the two fish,” (Jesus) “looked up to heaven, said a blessing, broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to set before the people. He ‘divided’” (‘merizó’) “the two fish among them all. They all ate and were satisfied. They took up twelve baskets full of broken pieces and of the fish. Those who ate the loaves were five thousand men.” (Mark 6: 41-44)
Remarkably, Mark shows Jesus “dividing” to multiply – feeding 5,000! How counterintuitive! Could he do that with ‘divided’ families? Nothing is impossible with God!
“Dia-merizó” is also used when Jesus has his disciples share/divide the Last Supper. Jesus “took a cup, and when he had given thanks he said, ‘Take this, and ‘divide’” (‘dia-merizó’) “‘it among yourselves.’” (Luke 22:17) How many thirsty souls have been quenched by sharing in the cup personifying Jesus’ reconciling blood?!
Moreover, early Christians also “divided to multiply,” “selling their possessions and belongings and ‘distributing’” (‘dia-merizó’) “the proceeds to all, as any had need.” (Acts 2 :45) God alone makes such kinship!
Again, Jesus, what shall we say about family? What did you say?
Jesus’ “mother and his brothers came, and standing outside they sent to him and called him. A crowd was sitting around him. They said to him, ‘Your mother and your brothers are outside, seeking you.’ He answered them, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ Looking about at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of God, he is my brother and sister and mother.’ (Mark 3: 31-35)
